You'll be there.

Some of the most comforting lyrics I've ever heard begin with "Hope is an anchor, and Love is a ship. Time is the ocean, Life is a trip." The first time I remember hearing it, King George sang it one night years ago as I traveled alone from some small country town in East Texas to a smaller country town in Central Mississippi. And tonight I sang it to one of my boys at bedtime. I've been singing it a lot lately, because I miss you.

I never held you. I don't even know your name. In my heart I know you. I close my eyes and I see you. Or maybe I feel you. I wanted you so much but God needed you. The more time goes by, the more I miss you. As the anniversaries of the day we said goodbye to you happen over and over month  after month I just can't stop the feeling of wanting you. I cry thinking about you.

I never understood what a person felt with the death of an unborn child until we didn't have you. Many people believe a father doesn't have an emotion regarding miscarriage but I'm here saying there isn't a moment that goes by that I don't think about you sweet baby, a moment that I don't miss you or want you with us. And I don't have all the words to explain the feelings I feel but there are feelings there, a loneliness in my heart.


But as life does, we continue on. I keep on singing this sweet song to your brothers waiting for the day that I meet you. And when that time finally comes, it will be worth all the price I've paid just to be with you.

"I know that I want to go where the streets are gold cause you'll be there."

Could we please stop using the word "retarded"?

I often find myself the victim of my own mouth. I've never been afraid to stand up for what is right nor have I ever been afraid to speak on behalf of those who are afraid of reprimand for their opinions.. With that being said, I always tend to look at each situation that presents itself and over analyze, overthink, and often take the delivery of what is said out of context. In saying all this, could we all please agree that it is time to stop using the word "retarded"?

I am upset so don't shoot me for expressing my opinion but it is time to grow up and clean up our language. I admit in the past I've used the word in the wrong context but if I've learned anything in the last 17 months it's that the word "retarded" hurts. Period. I cringe every time someone uses that word in my presence. It is downright rude and disrespectful, regardless of what you're trying to say. It is hurtful, careless, and you may not even know you're doing it.

Until you're faced with your own battles regarding disabilities and adversity you won't know how deep words cut a person. I remember that age old saying "sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me".. This is a lie. And I pray that none of you will ever face a battle of being disabled, having a disabled child, or that your family won't face adversity. Life is too precious.

"Retard", "Retarded", or any like word in your vocabulary hopefully will leave your vocabulary after reading this letter. It is my sincerest prayer that we all begin to speak with a diverse tongue and we become mindful of how much pain our friends and family may cause without knowing by having a loose mouth.